Talk for November 14- Kids Inspire us

My angel in disguise!Kids inspire us...

Sr P. Michelle Mathias

Our experiences shape our life. Often, unknowingly we come across people who challenge us, inspire us and provoke us to look at life differently than the way we normally do.  A totally new outlook to life emerges when we stumble upon unknown individuals who change our life through the witness of their life. And one such person in my life was Ali.

Ali was a street kid, who met me at our ‘Pauline’ Bookshop in Mangalore. This little boy would come with his friends practically every day to greet me when i stood at the bookshop counter. The window to the traumas of a street kid opened out to me through the experiences of Ali. 

Ali had left his house in Goa. He had just one shirt just like his three other friends who accompanied him everywhere. They could not afford to have more shirts as there was no place to keep their clothes. They earned by sweeping the passages in the trains. They slept on the street or wherever they found a place to lay their heads in peace without being hackled by the policemen. At times, they would rise in the morning only to face the fact that their slippers have been stolen while they were sleeping.

One morning, I saw a large bandage around the leg of one of Ali’s friends. A dog had tasted a piece of flesh from this kid’s leg at night. Painful! Many of these street boys were addicted to whiteners which compensated for drugs. Although, I must say, Ali would proudly boast about himself and tell me, “Didi, (elder sister) I am not addicted to drugs. And, I won’t. It is harmful. I tell this boy not to take it, but he just cannot do without it.”

When we look at our generation today, I think of Ali and say to myself, the smallest of failures and tragedies in life, upset us, and discourage us. We want to give up on life. But here was this boy, who had aims. He wanted to earn and make a decent living. Often, there is a complaint among the younger generation of today, peer pressure leads to smoking and drugs. Ali taught me that peer pressure can be tackled with self determination. Where there is a will, there is a way. Ali could have easily succumbed to smoking or drugs, it was all around him and nobody to control him either. But this boy never touched it; he even went a step further and encouraged his friends to quit drugs.

Ali’s multi-purpose shirt which he would invert during the day to sweep the trains and then turn it over and where it at night while sleeping quietly pricked the consummeristic attitude that had developed within me. We are surrounded by Gucci, Versace, Calvin Klein, Benetton and what not. One of my sisters was sharing with me that one of her cousin’s children had grown so used to luxury that they would only wear branded stuff. They could not thinking of walking down the lane as they wanted the car. While in another instance, they refused to shop when the parents took them to another shop as they only wanted branded wear of a particular company. The kids were naturally beautiful, however, luxury had become a must for them. And this had to be tackled from a young age. 

The parents often complained that it was so difficult to handle the kids of today. But the fact remains that children need to be disciplined from a young age. Instead of being pampered with every luxury as a good parent, the primary duty of a good parent should be to teach children to face life. To make the generation of today aware that branded stuff is just another way for corporate ventures to make money. Much of this branded wear endorsed by multi-national companies are very much a product of our country. The children need to be taught the values of giving and sharing right from a young age. Taking children to homes and places where they witness that the poor have to make-a-do with whatever is given to eat will help them to appreciate what is cooked at home.

Ali was an ordinary street child, but in spite of being a Muslim boy, he bonded with me a Catholic Nun and called me didi.(elder sister in Hindi) This little boy was a witness of how we the people of India can live in love, harmony and peace, if we want to.

Ali was a very religious boy. He was a Muslim and was very faithful in visiting the mosque every Friday. We often wonder why so many of us are ‘Out-standing’ Christians. By this I mean, people who come to the church and stand out as they are bored with the one hour service inside the church. And many among these ‘out-standing’ ones are our youth. Does Ali strike a chord? Well, he did not have anyone to tell him, ‘Ali, come let us go to the mosque.’ Ali’s other street kid friends were Hindus. The prayer life of this kid was amazing. In spite of all his suffering, he never blamed God for it. A faith that could many of us to shame!

Ali bonded with me like no other. He taught me how to appreciate life. In spite of all his tragedies, his wounds from the beatings he received from policemen, he always had a smile for me. He would even buy me small sweets and cold drinks. He never gave up on life. Ali taught me to face my own life, no matter what the turmoil or whatever the failure!

I had to part from Ali, when I left Mangalore. He told me that he wanted to earn money and buy a cell phone to talk to his sister, that is, me...! I never saw him after that. My only hope and prayer is that nothing untoward has happened to him. Ali’s life was and will always be an inspiration to me. I miss that kid though!

New Year Talk, Past informs, Grace transforms

Past informs, Grace transforms

Sr P. Michelle Mathias FSP

The concept of beginning a ‘new’ year rings in a sense of joy and hope. Joy – because the season of Christmas has brought the joy of God’s Son becoming human out of love for us and we celebrate the occasion with our family and friends with great fanfare. Hope- because it is that virtue that keeps us envisioning something better in the year to come. No matter how painful, trial-filled the past year may have been, the heart hopes and longs for a future that is beautiful, better, stronger and positive. It is this hope that keeps us going.

Somebody forwarded me an SMS the other day which said that the ‘Past has passed, Tomorrow is yet to come, but the Present is ours to live.’ Indeed the statement was true, but my own personal understanding of this SMS took me into the deeper intricacies that enveloped my life. At one point, the question that strongly raised its hood and stood before me was, “Can I actually forget my past because it has passed away? Can I just ignore it and say, ‘this is not good’ I will bury the past, change and begin afresh? Unfortunately or fortunately, memories don’t just fade away. To put it in simple terms , we cannot just forget the past instances of our life, especially those that were coated with pain, sorrow, hurt, challenges, and on the positive side, certain moments of exhilarating joy, love and cherished moments.

While we cannot forget the past, there are two ways of facing the past. One is the path of the optimist which makes the past a learning experience. The other path is that of the pessimist, where one fails to learn from the past mistakes and tries to bury or escape the past, and makes unsuccessful herculean attempts to shape the future.

The story of our journey of life is long and is marked with every possible twist and turn, hallmarks and downfalls, glories and tragedies, openings and closings, the list goes on. Our life is filled with innumerable stories that have shaped us. I read a book some time back, I must apologise that I have forgotten the author’s name, but his words are true. He says, “Through our stories, we learn WHO we are and WHOSE we are And HOW we got to where we are today.” He further adds that through these stories we hear how our history impacts our future.

In my own personal life, I have always drawn inspirations from my past. It is my past that has prepared me to face my future with better confidence and maturity. My past has shaped the way I make my decisions and choices. Some instances have been so strikingly painful that there were moments when I would think, Will I ever overcome this? Or I am in the dumps!” But it was precisely these dumps that prepared me to face my future. When in pain, I could have given up on my hope to recover and brood over the painful occurrences. But nay, it was not meant to be so, the grace of God which continuously assists us, helped me to take life with courage. I eventually came out of my pain. Today when I face struggles in my life, I say to myself, “If the Lord helped me to go through that incident, then there is nothing which I cannot handle with God.”

A lady who lost her mother had this to say, “I realise that we gain so much from every past experience.  Sometimes, it is the most difficult times that make us grow, gain compassion and empathy and find strength we never even realized we had.  Even though my loss is new, I have found that I am able to better relate to my children as I realize how precious life is and that, as my mom influenced me throughout my life, it is my job to be there to influence my girls and give them all of the tools they will need in life to continue to grow and become the women they are meant to be.  Life is not always easy, but through our hardships, we can and should gain better insight as to who we are.  I have changed much throughout my life and grown into the woman I want to be.  Life is a climb and as we grow and mature, any change that allows us to become a better and more loving person is positive.” As someone rightly said, "The present is the place where the past meets the future, and we can decide which colours we will paint our sky with.”

But more often than not, the problem occurs when our past "immobilises" us and we don't allow ourselves to open our future to different experiences. As it is said, “there is a clear distinction between letting our past inform us and wanting to stay there!” Our past may have been so alluring that some fail to face the future with courage as they prefer to dwell in the past and destroy their future. For others, the past has been so painful, that they fail to muster the courage to stand strong and face the future head on. Accepting our failures of the past, talking about them and making them a learning experience can prove beneficial both the one who has suffered in the past and the one who listens to these stories and draws inspiration for his/her own life.

The real Hero/Heroine is the one who learns from the past, acts in the present and thus shapes her future. Therefore, it is popularly said that ‘History informs us, and the grace of God transforms us.’ What is required is that we learn to acknowledge the working of God’s grace in our lives and draw inspirations from His Grace. 

Even the Bible narrates incidents that have shown people learning from their past mistakes and transforming themselves through the power of Grace and thus shaping the present and future. St Paul, who was the stalwart missionary of Christ, could have brooded and messed up his ministry had he allowed his past actions to overcome him and destroy him. He was leading an attack against Christians and was even involved in the cold-blooded murder of St Stephen. But when Grace touched his heart, he did dwell on the past, but not to cry over it. He quoted his past to proclaim the wonders the Lord had done in his life. His ministry was highly effective. The same goes for Alexander who stabbed St Maria Goretti brutally. Grace transformed this sinner, he repented, transformed and became a man of God.

Just like Paul and Alexander, our past life too may have had great pitfalls, mistakes, errors and dumps, what is required is that we trust in God’s grace that can transform us, and help us to face our present thus shaping our future. May 2019 become a channel of transformation, strength and courage for each one of us-Amen!

I love Kung Fu Panda! Pep Talk, BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

I love Kung Fu Panda!
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

Sr Patricia Michelle Mathias FSP

“What’s this nun up to?” may be the question popping up in your mind on this mini- confession of mine about being in love with an animated movie character. But for those of you who have seen the cartoon (animated) movie Kung fu Panda along with your families, I am sure it is not a surprise.

Sometimes, unlike many of my contemporaries, I thoroughly enjoy watching some cartoon movies. And believe me, these animated movies are real stress busters for me. I encourage you too to indulge once in a while in watching these as they are at times filled with beautiful messages both for children and for adults. A word of caution that I add here is that not all animated cartoons or movies are healthy. So, while children today devour animated cartoons non-stop, one needs to draw a line between violent and abusive animated stuff that easily mingles with animated movies with good messages.

To begin with, some of the movies I have enjoyed include Kung Fu Panda, Madagascar, Ice Age (Series), Shrek Series, Despicable me, Bolt, etc. These are complete family entertainers with loads of messages. I wonder, how many of us in our families help children to learn values from what they are watching! So then, What is so special about Kung Fu Panda?

For all those who have not seen Kung Fu Panda, the story is how a Panda, son of a ‘noodle selling’ goose- father becomes the ‘Dragon Warrior.’ Although the greatness of Po is envisioned by Master Ugwe, a Kung Fu Master, the teacher, ‘Shifu’ whom Po is entrusted with, is disgusted by the appearance of Po, who is not one among his students. The journey of ‘Po’ from a chubby, noodle -selling panda, who is derided by his teacher ‘Shifu’ and companions initially, to his transformation into a Kung Fu warrior is loaded with messages.

In a world where people are running for cosmetics to cover every blemish and to gyms for getting a curvaceous figure or a six-pack alb, Kung Fu Panda, sends across this message, that no matter, who you are and how you are, ‘JUST BELIEVE IN YOURSELF.’ Most of us are carried away with dream of having the perfect shapes thrusted onto us by the media which often showcases beautiful models. People today run for hair dyes as they are scared to grow old and showcase their grey hair. Some run for wrinkle free creams. Fairness creams are eternal best-sellers and pimple free creams are raking in the moolah! When we believe we can accomplish something, we actually can. The teacher who derides Kung Fu Panda is taught an important lesson on ‘Believing in Self’ by the great master (a tortoise) in the movie. Our looks will never last as one day, we are all going to grow old, no matter how much wrinkle-free cream we apply. But what will remain in the hearts of people are the actions. People will always remember Abdul Kalam, the dark-skinned, wrinkled, shaggy haired old man for his accomplishments and his actions and not the beautiful actresses of today. The life span of an actress on screen is too small. Once a bit old, there are a few takers for most actresses.

Secondly, Fat Po has a terrible weakness, he eats when he is stressed and angry. He eats and eats and eats. The teacher transforms this weakness through discipline into Po’s strength. We are all human beings with weaknesses. But we have two choices before us. We continue to indulge in our weaknesses or make a ‘tini-mini’ effort to overcome them daily. The teacher channelizes Po’s weaknesses and helps him to discover his strength in his weaknesses. A similar connotation could be linked to the Bible, wherein St Paul speaks of how in and through his weakness, God’s strength was manifested. Our weaknesses could be turned into strengths if we carry within ourselves the determination to accept ourselves, try hard and face life.

Po even tries helping his enemy by trying to show him the way of truth. The whole movie is filled with values galore. But what happens, in most cases is that our families run short of the time to sit with kids and discuss what they have seen. My friend’s dad would always make it a point to ask her, “Child, tell me what did you learn today?” And having done this, he inculcated in this little girl a growing love for values. She has blossomed into a wonderful human being today. Another story speaks of how a mother would constantly point out the bad and good before the child during the serials she would watch. While initially the girl was irritated with her mother’s on and off comments. One day, the mother heard her child speaking of the ill-effects that the tele-serial could possibly have. The mother had a silent satisfaction that finally she had managed to instil in her child, the difference of the good and bad that appeared on screen.

We are aware of how the rate of violence has increased in the present days, so are we allowing our children to be guided by the television then? Practically, all the tele-serials have sex, betrayal, rapes or dishonesty. Many cartoons also have violence. Can we forbid ourselves and the children from watching everything? Perhaps ‘No.’ But there is one possibility and that is to help the child learn to discern the good from the bad. It is high time that parents also once in a while sit and watch the serials and the cartoons the kids are watching and then discuss with the children as to what they have learnt from it. I would not encourage parents to keep criticising the entire programme. Rather, first allow the child to speak for herself/ himself and then show the good followed by the pointing out of the not so good elements that can harm society. The best way would be to not make it preachy but make it sound like a new value that the children are discovering in the serial.

Happy viewing!

Mother Mary/ Mary’s courageous living

Mary’s courageous living

Sr Patricia Michelle Mathias fsp

More often than not, Mary has been proclaimed as the humble one, the silent one, the one whose heart was pierced with a lance. What often gets negated is the fact that Mary our Mother is a very courageous woman. Right from the Annunciation to the Ascension, Mary proves to be a woman of Faith and courage. A woman who challenges our living through her ordeals in life! No other example can compete the beauty of Mary’s call to Motherhood and Mary’s courageous response- a response that changed the entire course of her life.

Pregnancy was a taboo before marriage. The punishment was as harsh as being stoned to death. Mary knew that if she said ‘Yes’ to Archangel Gabriel. She was running a huge risk. A risk to her name, a risk to her betrothal to Joseph, A risk of death! And yet, Mary had the courage to say ‘Yes’ to God’s plan. Mary’s  ‘Yes’ was a courageous one, knowing the fact that she was a virgin and the entire society would rush to kill her when the news of her pregnancy would leak. Yet, a young girl, far too mature for her age decides to take the risk for God and answers a ‘Yes’ to God’s messenger to bring forth God’s Son.

Mary’s witness to a courageous living did not stop there. A pregnant Mary voluntarily makes a long distance journey in order to help her old cousin, ‘Elizabeth’. One needs to bear in mind journeying in those days was not as good as the journey on the tar roads of today. They were mountainous terrains. Very risky and dangerous to travel alone on! A pregnant, young Mary in her utter generosity thinks of her old cousin, rather than herself. Mary cross-questions our own luke- warm, individualistic behaviour in the consumerist society of today, wherein, we have to no time for others. Often many of us run to church and say ‘Praise the Lord and Praise you Jesus’ but the same person may never know his or her neighbour. Our Work or our prayer at times becomes self-centred. Jesus summarises the Ten Commandments into two when he says, ‘Love of God and Love of neighbour’. Mary sets an example of service and the exemplary attitude ‘of reaching out to those in need’ before each one of us today. She is the first witness to a ‘Christ-like’ living.

And again Mary has to run with her baby and her husband. That horrible mountaneous terrain… And she barely has strength after pregnancy and yet with every ounce of energy left, she goes. Herod hounds the child day and night. They have to rush at night as soon as the angel warns and live in total silence to avoid any attention for the child. Wouldn’t we grumble, first bear the mighty’s son and run out of fear, hiding that we won’t be killed! Lockdown reminds us of this hiding out of fear of death. Mary understands. She knows what it is to fear death. She knows what it is to hide and remain quiet. It is like a journey of training. God trains her and she responds with flair. She is a good student.

The wedding at Cana is another example of Mary’s living of the commandments of God. She once gain reaches out the family of those getting married when she realises the wedding hosts can get into an embarrassing situation with the wine running out.  She demands a miracle from Jesus. Jesus, who is initially unwilling, just can’t refuse his Mother. Jesus performs his first miracle. Mary knew that her son was divine. When her son showed hesitation, Mary being a gentle woman would have sensed her son’s discomfort in performing a miracle. But Mary shows that she is a woman who is also a generous and a courageous mother. She does not take ‘no’ for an answer from her son. Jesus gives in to Mary’s demand. Mary’s courage and sensitivity towards the needs of others cannot but compel Jesus to perform the divine miracle.

Mary had to live a solitary life with her only Son touring all over with his mission of proclaiming the good news. But Mary does not give up on her son. She reaches out to him. And even when most of his disciples abandon him at a time when he needs them the most, Mother Mary stands close to her son. The movie ‘Passion of Christ’ has a striking scene when Jesus falls with the weight of the cross, Mary is shown in a flashback scene of how when he fell as a little boy, she would rush to pick him and hold him in her arms. Mary’s courage leads her closer to the foot of the cross. She does not care about the soldiers. She witnesses to her Son. Mary often challenges our faith. In our lives, when we lose the ones we love to premature deaths or accidents or any such painful incidents, we tend to question God. We blame him for our misfortunes. We ask God, “Why me?” We complain. We fret. We brood. Mary, the woman of courage, surrenders! Through her brokenness Mary stands with all of us who have gone through pain in our lives. She stands by us because she knows the pain of losing her beloved Son. Mary encourages us with her own courageous response to life.

Mary does not give up hope. She is there with the apostles in the cenacle when the descent of the Holy Spirit occurs. Mary is a leader in Prayer, praise and Worship. She is a woman of the spirit. She stands for truth, justice, love, sensitivity, care, concern, but much more than that she witnesses to a life of courage. She is a beautiful example to every woman who wishes to stand for God, His values and His will. She is a woman of justice in times of trial. She does not fail to stand on the side of Truth even if she risked being man-handled by soldiers. She is a courageous Mother.

A Mother we love!

Christmas message/Celebrating Christmas meaningfully

Celebrating Christmas meaningfully

Story telling is a beautiful art. I am not very adept at it, but let me tell you that nothing captures my attention more than a beautiful story that drives home the message of the day’s reading or an effective moral or a value-based message.

Jesus was a wonderful story teller. His stories include those of the Good Samaritan, the women with the lost coin, the shepherd and his lost sheep, to name a few. Even his birth sounds so interesting when the scene of the nativity is enacted. It has every element of - Excitement: When the angel visits Mary at the annunciation); Anguish: A heavily pregnant Mother Mary has to travel with her husband on a treacherous journey; Pain and anxiety: Mary has no place to give birth to her baby; and the sweet finale: Jesus’ birth, Angels choir, visitors, etc.   This story does not end there. We believe Christ is amongst us and celebrate his birth with equal pomp. But, Christmas today has turned unique, we have added features into our celebration. These unique features include the Santa, Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer, Snow Flakes, Frosty the snowman, the Mistletoe, The gloriously lit Christmas tree, decorations and last but not the least, food and for ‘some of us’ wine!

All said and done, the added features make the celebration beautiful. But here lies the question, “Do these make our celebration meaningful?” Well, that reminds me of a story called ‘Marvellous Love’ retold by Bill Bright. It narrates an incident that occurred “On a cold Christmas Eve in 1952, when Korea was in the throes of civil war. A young woman struggled along a village street, obviously soon to deliver a child. She pleaded with the passersby to help her, but in vain. To add to her woes, a middle-aged couple walked by. The wife pushed away the young mother and sneered, "Where's the father? Where's your American man now?" The insensitive couple laughed and went on.

By then, her contraction doubled up. She had heard of a missionary living close by who was very helpful, but she just could not make it. Finally, wearied and unable to walk she saw a bridge. It was a freezing, cold, snowy, winter night.  Realising that the time was near to deliver her baby, she took shelter under a bridge. There, alone, her baby was born on Christmas Eve. She feared her newborn would die in the freezing cold. Having no other option, this mother took off her own clothes, wrapped them around the baby and held him close in the warm circle of her arms.

The next morning, the missionary set out on his errand to deliver Christmas packages. While closing on the bridge, He heard the voice of a baby. Under it, he found a young mother frozen to death, still clutching her crying new born son. The missionary tenderly lifted the baby out of her arms. When the baby was 10 years old, his now adoptive father told him the story of his mother's death on Christmas Eve. The young boy cried, realising the sacrifice his mother had made for him.

The next morning, the missionary rose early to find the little boy's bed empty. He followed the trail of footprints the boy had left on the snow and it reached the same bridge where the boy’s mother had died in order to save her little one. As the missionary approached the bridge, he stopped, stunned. Kneeling in the snow was his son, naked and shivering uncontrollably. His clothes lay beside him in a small pile. Moving closer, he heard the boy say through chattering teeth:  "Mother, were you this cold for me?"

What message does this story give? Perhaps, the first thing that strikes our mind is the mother’s supreme sacrifice. The second thing that stirs our heart is the son’s unique way of expressing his love and gratitude for his mother. But there is another message that shines through- the message that the couple that jeered at this woman gave us. To add to the misery of the woman, along with no help they gave her a generous dose of painful mockery.

At times, Christmas becomes a celebration, fun, feasting and partying the whole night. And we fail to look beyond. This story reminded me of my maternal uncle who had a unique way of celebrating his Christmas. Uncle Francis would invite one poor man to his house and feed him a sumptuous lunch on Christmas. He would tell me, “Michelle, I want him to know that I am celebrating the birth of Christ.” This was followed by a gala bursting of crackers at night.  I was amused as a little girl by his noble gesture. But, today after so many years, I have realised what he meant. The young couple lost out on an opportunity to allow Christ to be born in their hearts and not just in their external celebrations.

Well, please I am not a spoil sport and I am not telling you to not celebrate and have fun. My Uncle had fun too. But he shared his joy with someone, and that doubled his joy! His was the joy that the angels witnessed to, on the night of Christ’s birth. I end with a question for you and for me, “How am I going to make Christmas special this time: ‘Cakes and parties or A witnessing of Love?’

Wish you a grace-filled Christmas season! WISH YOU LOVE…